You know when you thought when you met the man of your dreams he would change?

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I was married to not one abuser, not two, but three. I fled from South Africa and from an extremely violent and traumatic marriage to a very well-known Johannesburg personality and resolved to learn a lesson and be more careful next time. In America I met a man who, on the surface, was everything that my second husband was not. Until I owned her own contribution to the dance of abuse I was destined to repeat the pattern. My story exists as proof of this. I am driven to help abused women as I know all too well what it feels like to be misunderstood and ashamed of my inability to let go of a relationship that was killing me. “It’s like wanting to hug a shark – why on earth would anyone do that?” I understand because I have been there, emerged damaged and broken from there and then – heaven forbid – went back! I know what it feels like to yearn for the love of a man who pulled out your hair, spat in your face and tried to choke you. I know what it feels like to tell people you are back there and watch their faces and see them thinking, “then you deserve what you get!” By telling my story, I hope to lift the veil of shame off abuse and encourage women to do the same. Un-silencing the voice is where true healing begins.

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Posted in abuse, codependency, dating, domestic violence, healing, healing crystals, healing stones, love, marriage, obsession, relationships
2 comments on “You know when you thought when you met the man of your dreams he would change?
  1. Cindy Mtshali says:

    Where can I get the books Phillipa. I have tried CNA but they don’t have it. Kindly assist.

    Thanks

    Cindy Mtshali
    RSA
    0792913007

    Like

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